Sunday, January 14, 2007
Who Will Be My Valentine?
Today is 14th of January...1mth away is Valentines day...There was one Valentines day I went out wif a bunch of frens and one of the gal was supposed to be my valentine...But we decided to go out wif our frens as a grp 1st so we can enjoy our Valentine later in the evening or smth...But it didn't turn out as we planned...after lunch the grp of us went to K-box and after that the Movies...and then the clique had dinner at Swensens...that's when this fren of my went outside for awhile and came back wif a bouquet of roses and kneel in front of my supposed Valentine and expressed his love...I was stunned as she was...he was a very good fren of mine but i had nvr knew he secretly admired her...although i knew that he had always been very nice to her...i was totally confused at that very moment...wondering what shld i do? what shld i say? what is going to happen? but my expression on face showed only 1 thing...anxiety...wat will my valentine say? will she accept his love? i know her well and in an event like this i know she will try to not let anyone get embarrassed...i knew her answer all along before she spoke...but when she still said those words, i felt like i've been dumped...i thought i was prepared...that she was just acting...but i still couldnt accept the fact that she said:" thank you very much, i appreciate ur love." Those words hit me hard...i half-expected her to reject him...but she didn't...shes too nice to do so...i felt like i'm the one rejected...i've actually planned a romantic evening to spend wif her by the beach...but in the end i told her: sry i'm tired after today, i hope u'll have fun wif him...shall go home now bye!I ended the day...i didn't have courage to look into her eyes to see it turning red...but i knew her eyes were turning red...i walked away knowing that she replied the guy wif no intention of hurting me...nor did she had intentions to hurt him...but i would had prefered if she had hurt him...that might had made me feel better...SELFISH...tat's wat i am...love is selfish anyway...u need to fight...but then again...i am CHILDISH...does that make my love childish too?I never contacted that girl again besides seeing her in school and she now oredi has a boyfriend although it isn't the guy who proposed...what would had happened if i had continue to carry the plan that night? well its over and no use thinking of it...A person too nice is wat makes regret painful.This Year 2007...who will be my valentine? i oredi have one in mind^^! bye!
i'm not emo @ 11:33 PM
